Unintentional Lessons About Discipleship From a Student

Anyone who works with children or teens knows that it often seems like you learn more from them than they seem to learn from you.

I had just such an encounter a week ago.

I was there to see a soccer game that one of my middle school discipleship guys was playing in. Unfortunately, as is often the case in these scenarios, I couldn't actually interact with the guy I was there to see since he was off with his team. Also unfortunately, the previous game had gotten interrupted by rain, so they were resuming that game, causing a delay in the game I was there to see. I wasn't quite sure what to do at this point.

At this point, the older brother steps in. I actually have a pretty good relationship with the older brother, so it was good to be able to spend a little time with him. However, he decided it was time for us to throw around the football he had with him.

Let me tell you something about footballs and me. We don't get along. Pretty much as soon as it involves anything sports-related or if it just calls for physical coordination, I'm out. I know close to nothing about any sports, and football is particularly perplexing.

Normally if someone proposes football (or anything sports-related), I attempt to politely decline, even if some people interpret it as snorting derisively. In this case, I knew this guy pretty well, so I decided to give it a shot. I let him know he'd have to teach me. He knows me well enough that he just grinned and said, “I know.”

So this high school student proceeds to go through some very basic stuff with me—here's how you should stand, here's how you move your arm, here's when you let go of the ball, here's how you aim, here's how you can be prepared to catch the ball. And it worked.

IT WORKED. I was pretty consistent at catching the ball and at throwing it where I was aiming. Understand, I never had a gym teacher do this. Gym teachers always seemed to assume everyone had the basics, so I never really learned about sports in PE, because I never had the prerequisite knowledge to understand what was happening. This student taught me more in about twenty minutes than years of PE classes.

What does this have to do with discipleship?

1. I was willing to participate because of the relationship I had with the teacher.

If a stranger had come up and asked about throwing around a football, I would have declined. As it was, the invitation came from someone who knew me and cared about me. That made learning stuff that I wasn't particularly excited about much more palatable.

When we're attempting to teach people what it is to be a Christ-follower, we need to function out of relationship. If you're in student ministry, you know that students have any number of motivations for showing up at church. They may simply not care what we have to say if we're just the weird adult in the room. If we get to know them and show that we care about them, they'll have a reason to listen.

2. The guy who was teaching me knew my starting point, and began with the basics.

Because he already knew me, he knew my thoughts and experiences regarding sports. He didn't make fun, and he knew he had to start by showing me very basic skills. We weren't attempting to play football. He was just helping me learn to throw and to catch.

One of the reasons we must know the people we're attempting to disciple is that we need to know their starting point. For someone with no church background, there may be a ton of misconceptions to clear up. Frankly, for someone with tons of church background, there may be a ton of misconceptions to clear up! If someone has the basic teachings down, we need to be ready to guide them in serving and reaching others. If they feel like they're sitting around and absorbing the same information they've already heard a hundred times, they're going to check out.

3. This student (and his little sister) encouraged me and celebrated small victories.

He probably could have made fun of my lack of knowledge, skill, and coordination. He didn't.

This one's pretty straight-forward. We need to be intentional about encouraging and celebrating small victories. Encourage the kid who remembers that Acts is in the New Testament. Celebrate in some way with the kid who usually offers sarcastic comments but manages to hold his tongue.

So, it all begins in a context of relationship. Based on that relationship, you instruct, guide, and model according to that person's particular starting point. Always encourage, and celebrate small victories. These are a few things I learned while waiting for a soccer game to start.